http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/en-EUhttp://backend.userland.com/rss092http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/12/be1234b5a3f9171c39d04bfc436a11_160x200.jpg <p>I am training to be a teacher. I have been accepted onto the PGCE course for this Septmeber to train as a teacher. I am really looking forward to it but I know it's going to be a hard year. Not just in terms of the work but the money aspect too. I won't get much less than what I already get in my job but I will be having to spend more on childcare.<br> I am terrified of failing, especially these skills test we have to take. I am in the middle of revising for the maths and it has made me realise that, although I work in a junior school, I don't use half the maths that I was taught at school. Most of it I don't even remember!!!<br> I have had loads of experience with teaching, even teaching classes myself but there is still that doubt and fear in the back of my mind. I know I'll be good at it and it's something I love doing. I could never speak to a room of adults but feel completely at ease in front of children. I always miss my class at holiday times and I feel very emotional at the thought of leaving in July. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2008/04/18/teaching-4062814/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2008/04/18/teaching-4062814/Fri, 18 Apr 2008 18:42:00 +0200 <p>Wow what a few months I've had. </p> <p>I have been so busy with finals, dissertations and looking for a job that I haven't had time to myself!</p> <p>Thankfully it's all finished now. I finished my dissertation (10,039 words in all on the impact of Marie Stopes' libel trial in 1923 on the birth control movement) which i loved writing and researching. The exams have been done (and passed- and quite well too as they bumped my grade up a class!). Uni has ended (with a 2:2 grade (a mark of 57!!!) which I am estatic about) and I found that job after 5 interviews, 4 of which rejected me for a lack of experience. I now start my new job of Teaching Assistant in September when my own children go back to school. I am hoping to do a teaching course next year as I was unlucky this year.</p> <p>My little girl Lila, my youngest, starts primary school in September. I can't believe my little girl is getting so big. It doesn't seem long ago that she started nursery. She's really looking forward to it and is so excited about her uniform that she keeps trying it on! </p> <p>I also took both of my children to the cinema the other day (it was the first time Lila had been) and we watched Over the Hedge. They loved it and it was lovely to see them giggling at the film. </p> <p>My 6 year old boy, Red went swimming in my Aunt's pool a few weeks ago and she gave him a life jacket thing to wear which makes him believe that he can swim without armbands! He took the jacket off at one point and stayed in the shallow end and kept ducking himself under water- he has now convinced himself that he can swim and he wants to go off one of the diving boards at our local pool!!!! Hmm maybe not.</p> <p>It's been strange having a relaxing summer where I have no work to do, I ahve been catching up on all the reading I missed out on while I studied. I am also trying to learn Albanian as I am going over there in October (it was meant to be this week but red's passport wasn't ready- he needed to re do his photographs!) I know a few words and phrases but I can't string a proper sentence together yet. If anyone knows where I can find a good phrase book I'd be much obliged.</p> <p>My driving is coming on very well. I drove to Milton Keynes in June to see Take That (wow a fantastic night) and I ahve tried to make myself go new places (I keep a good map with me at all times). The only thing I don't like is parking. I try to park away from other cars as much as possible! </p> <p>Well, my children are trying to raid the fridge so I better go and see about getting them some food.</p> <p>Have a great day everyone.</p> <p>Take care x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2006/08/16/good_morning~1043502/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2006/08/16/good_morning~1043502/Wed, 16 Aug 2006 10:53:33 +0200 <p>Well, I am writing here so either my drive to my parent's house went alright or I chickened out.</p> <p>It went great. We left about 12ish and there wasn't much traffic on the road. Knowing where I am going helps too. I even ventured out into the middle lane as well. I didn't do over 70mph though. </p> <p>When we came home (5ish) there was a bit more traffic but still the drive was good. i was more confident in changing lanes this time but still didn't go anywhere near the third lane. I think I would have annoyed many people if I had as most were whizzing past me but I didn't have any need to go on there.</p> <p>All I need to do now is night driving and then I am set to drive whenever. </p> <p>I love this driving malarky. It's fantastic. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2006/02/27/motorway_driving~596570/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2006/02/27/motorway_driving~596570/Mon, 27 Feb 2006 08:44:27 +0100 <p>Hello!</p> <p>I realised I ahven't written on here for ages so I thought I would get back into it again.</p> <p>I am half way through my last year at uni and half way through my dissertation. I have just had an email back from my tutor to say it's shaping up nicely which is really encouraging. I have written 4,517 words so far and I'm really enjoying it. </p> <p>As you will know from my previous blogs I passed my driving test 3 days before christmas. I finally got a car last week, a red astra. It had not tax so I had to wait until I got the insurance forms until I could get the tax. I finally got them last Tuesday- I say finally but they did come down withing 3 days! It's not as if I was waiting ages for them. I went straight to the post office on Wednesday and bought the tax. When I got home I got my daughter ready, got some breakdown cover, and went on my first scary trip to Tesco to get some petrol. </p> <p>It was fantastic. I didn't feel weird about not having my instructor in the car with me and I knew exactly where I was going which helped. Getting petrol had always been a worry for me as I didn't know what to do but it was very easy. Even I could do it!</p> <p>I have also bought myself a couple of books (car maintenance for dummies, that kind of thing!) just so I know what the hell is under that thing called a bonnet. I know so little about cars that I felt the need to read up on the subject. this way when I ahve to take the car in to get things done I'll know what the hell the mechanic is talking about and I won't look like another stupid girl (no matter that really I am underneath!)</p> <p>Today was my second time to drive (the snow scared me enough to not want to take it out yesterday) and I was taking my daughter, my friend and her daughter to nursery. I was a little worried before I got in the car but once I was off I had no trouble. My friend and I also went to Asda to got some shopping and all the way round at intervals I would excitedly say "I drove here"!!! Sad aren't I! We then went to Tesco (just because we could! Actually there were a coulple of things we couldn't get at Asda) and then back to nursery and home finally. </p> <p>I loved driving today and driving while I had passengers was good too. It has given me the confidence to try the M25 on an early Sunday morning. I have driven on the M1 when I did my pass plus but it's different doing things with an instructor telling you exactly what to do and also looking out for hazards for you. </p> <p>I am going to pick my son up from school later in the car. He doens't know yet. He hasn't been in the car yet, we were waiting for the tax and then the time I went to get the petrol he was at school. I won't drive him to school (or usually pick him up but this is a special one off) as it's too close so he won't get to go in very much but I know he'll be so excited about it. </p> <p>I went shopping in my car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p> <p>See it really is that sad. I also phoned my mum up on wednesday night and said "guess what I just did?" </p> <p>I also have a drive to Luton looming as I need to see a headmaster about doing a GTP there. Fingers crossed for that please.</p> <p>Also, one more thing before I go... my brother asked me this and had no clue so I'll ask you and see if you fare better than me......</p> <p>There are 3 types of people that lift (with your legs... you know the drill) properly do you know who they are?</p> <p>I'll leave you with that. Have a good weekend and just to warn you- I will be driving on the M25 on Sunday just in case you wanted to steer clear! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2006/02/24/driving~589400/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2006/02/24/driving~589400/Fri, 24 Feb 2006 13:56:32 +0100 <p>Saying that always reminds me of that song- is it by Shakin Stevens or someone?! </p> <p>Anyway I just thought I would write and wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. </p> <p>Have a fantastic time and enjoy yourselves.</p> <p>Love and sunshine,</p> <p>Laura and family x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/12/24/merry_christmas_everyone~413005/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/12/24/merry_christmas_everyone~413005/Sat, 24 Dec 2005 11:36:39 +0100 <p>Happy Birthday to you<br> Happy Birthday to you<br> Happy Birthday dear Lila Bean<br> Happy Birthday to you.</p> <p>She is 4 today! I can't believe how old she is getting. It seems to be going so quickly. She'll soon be moving out of home. There's already certain things she (and Red) don't need me for. I barley get to do anything for Red. He was so happy with himslef this morning that he came downstairs and got himslef a drink while I was a sleep. </p> <p>Awwwwww I miss them both already. They have only been gone a few hours- I have to wait a week before I see them again. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_cry.gif" alt=":'(" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>As I passed my test yesterday (I still can't believe it- I keep expecting them to phone up saying they made a mistake!) my fiance is taking me to the cinema to watch King Kong. I didn't realise it was going to be 3 hours long though! I'd rather watch The Producers! Maybe next time. </p> <p>I spent the morning having lunch with my friend Carl whom I ahve known for years. We used to work at Pizza Hut together and have been friends ever since. We always meet up when he's home from Uni (Leeds Trinity whatever!) and have lunch. We used to go to Pizza HUt lol but this time we didn't. It was nice to see him again and have a chat. He bought me a bottle of wine as a Christmas present too. I always seem to buy him alcohol related gifts! It's his 21st in a couple fo weeks so I'll have to think of something special for that.<br> Any ideas please let me know!</p> <p>Anyway I am going or I won't be ready when the old man gets back. </p> <p>Merry Christmas everyone and Happy New Year.</p> <p>To my wonderful children: We miss you terribly and we hope you enjoy seeing your Daddy and can't wait to see you soon. We love you very much. Have a lovley time xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx kisses from far away te puth nga larg me qithe zemer dhe shpirt pergjithmone xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/12/23/lila_bean_s_birthday~411129/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/12/23/lila_bean_s_birthday~411129/Fri, 23 Dec 2005 17:24:37 +0100 <p>Good afternoon everyone. Yesterday was such a busy day that I thought I would let you all in on my day (22nd December 2005)</p> <p>So... here's my day..... </p> <p>Firstly we celebrated Lila Bean's birthday today as she is going away tomorrow at 8am and if we didn't do it today we wouldn't have had time.<br> She opened all her presents and cards this morning </p> <p>She got: </p> <p>A CD player (she was so excited to have one of her own)<br> A Peter Rabbit audio book<br> A doll with a microphone<br> A doll in a car<br> An incy wincy spider game<br> A Bratz colouring in board<br> A Lil Bratz sticker maker<br> A plastic dolls house with furniture and dolls<br> A track suit<br> A pretty skirt and top<br> A little cute bag in the shape of an elephant with some chocolates<br> A cute mouse with a dressing gown, slippers and a bag with chocolates </p> <p>I think that's all so far- she'll get her dad's presents tomorrow along with his sister and mum's presents. </p> <p>We did her cake earlier and she got to blow her candles out. </p> <p>I also went to Fat Fighters tonight and lost 1lb! It's not much but I managed to win Slimmer of the Week and I won a bottle of wine as I was the closest to the target we set for ourselves 9 weeks ago. I also won the raffle but I thought I'd had my fair share of prizes so I didn't take it and told Sue to re do it so someone else could get something. </p> <p>But, the most important thing that happened was...<br> ...........................................<br> ...........................................<br> ...........................................</p> <p>are you ready?<br> ...........................................<br> ...........................................<br> ...........................................<br> are you sure?<br> ...........................................<br> ...........................................<br> ...........................................<br> well ......................................<br> ...........................................<br> I took my driving test today and <img src="/img/smilies/icon_arrow.gif" alt="=>" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_arrow.gif" alt="=>" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_arrow.gif" alt="=>" class="middle" border="0"><br> ...........................................<br> ...........................................<br> ...........................................<br> ...........................................<br> ...........................................<br> I PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With 14 minors, freezing cold hands from the nerves and the worst drive of my life! But I have my licence at last! Now I can stop using my indicators, mirrors or speed dial as I have noticed that none of you experienced drivers seem to use them!<img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"> <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/graysmilewinkgrin.gif" alt=";D" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/12/23/title~410890/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/12/23/title~410890/Fri, 23 Dec 2005 15:58:21 +0100 <p>Argh only a few more days left. I am getting edgier by the minute as the excitement/ fear seeps through my body. Will this one be as bad as the last two? Will this one be THE one?<br> There is nothing more I can do to prepare myself this time- qe cera cera (actually I have no idea how to spell that but you get my drift- don't you?!)<br> You would think I would confident this time around knowing that I have already been through the hell of it twice already- surely this one can't be as bad as them!? Can it????????? Please no let this one be the one! Besides it's getting so expensive! How can they possibly justify the prices these days? It's astounding!<br> Anyway I'm sure it will be fine. You know what they say- third time lucky. Well let's hope that's true for me. i don't thin I could take another one!<br> ARGH even talking talking about it has got my heart racing and I'm struggling to breathe- what am I going to be like on the day if I'm like this already???!!!!!</p> <p>I'm sure I'll be fine, everything will be fine and this time I'll pass that driving test so you all better watch out because I'll be let loose on the roads soon enough!<img src="/img/smilies/icon_twisted.gif" alt=":>" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/12/17/it_s_almost_here~393662/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/12/17/it_s_almost_here~393662/Sat, 17 Dec 2005 12:42:57 +0100 <p>I was woken up briefly on Sunday morning by the house shaking. At first, in my sleepy state, I thought it was my 6 year old son getting into his bed. He has a steel framed bed that makes a lot of noise when he climbs the ladder. On second thoughts though I thought that the noise was too loud for just one small boy and then my sleepy thoughts turned to thunder. Not one to be bothered by thunder and lightening I went back to sleep and subsequently forgot about being woken at such an ungodly hour (I wasn't aware of the time but it was still dark out so it was early- I have since found out it must have been around 6ish)</p> <p>Then I received an email from my friend who lives 4 doors away from me asking if I had felt the house shake at 6 that morning. It was then I remembered Red and his noisy bed waking me! I did think it was a little excessive even for him.</p> <p>As you must know by now what had woken was in fact an explosion at the factory in Hemel Hempstead about 10 miles away from me. </p> <p>Today I had a phonecall from one of the mum's at my son's school telling me that the school is to be closed for tomorrow due to health and safety reasons. The black cloud billowing from the explosion site is heading our way and can be seen over the Uni and across from the town. We have to keep our children in and not let them breathe the air that may or may not be polluted- they keep feeding us different stories. </p> <p>All schools in the county, as far as I am aware, have been closed for tomorrow at least.<br> It's really upset my son who loves school and totally thrown my plans for a little christmas shopping out the window. My daughter's nursery is also closed so it looks like all three of us get a lie in tomorrow. </p> <p>Let's just hope that the fires are put out quickly and everyone affected gets back on their feet as soon as possible.</p> <p>I still can't believe that I was the only one in my house who felt the house shake. I was 10 miles away and it scared me. I have family (or ex family) in Hemel Hempstead who were thrown out fo their beds by the force. Imagine what those right on top if went through. Scary stuff. No wonder some though a plane had crashed on them! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/12/12/title~381825/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/12/12/title~381825/Mon, 12 Dec 2005 22:12:58 +0100 <p>Can't think of anything interesting or witty to use as my heading- sorry. I'm having a bad week!</p> <p>I had to buy a new printer on Sunday only to have to take it back yesterday (Wednesday) because there is a fault with it!!!!!!!!! Thankfully I managed to get a replacement so it is now up and running and printing, scanning and copying lovely!</p> <p>My little boy Red went to see the new Harry Potter film with his Granddad and his wife (the Granddad's wife not red's!). They came back saying it was quite scary in parts but Red hadn't found it scary at all. I was a little worried he would as he's only 6. Tough as old boots obviously. Unless it comes to eating something he's not sure about then he's whiny!</p> <p>I have an essay due next week (actually I have one due tomorrow and another due next week but I have done those) that i haven't written yet and it's beginning to stress me out. i should have started it by now. looks like I'll be locking myself in the study/ dining room until it's done over the weekend.</p> <p>My little brother is coming to stay with me for a few days so he can babysit while I go to London to do the research for my dissertation. </p> <p>I can't wait for Christmas- even though I haven't got the children this year for christmas day (I'll have them New Year) I'm still excited about it. I bought my parents a photo album and I have puts lots of photos of them when they were little and then as they grew up- wedding photos- pictures of me and my brothers when we were little and then pictures of the grandchildren. I can't wait to give it to them. I had to get my brother to steal the wedding photos for me though!</p> <p>One quick question before I go:</p> <p>Is this an example of favoritism or am I just over protective:</p> <p>On card to my son:</p> <p><em>Hope we have a good Christmas</em> </p> <p>On a card to my daughter:</p> <p><em>Have a great christmas </em></p> <p>What do you think? Favouritism or all in my head?</p> <p>I'll let you think about that one. Btw the cards were sent by the same person ( I know it sounds obvious but I just wanted to clarify it!)<img src="/img/smilies/icon_crazy.gif" alt=":crazy:" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/12/08/hello~370564/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/12/08/hello~370564/Thu, 08 Dec 2005 15:40:26 +0100 <p>I had my first driving lesson today since my test. I was a little nervous as I hadn't been in a car since 10th November! It went really well. I did cut up a man on a mini roundabout near my house though! Eeek sorry- learner! Not to mention women drivers!</p> <p>My instructor was teasing me about my white Christmas tree- apprently they are tacky and it shouldn't have come as much of a shock as I am from essex after all! The cheek of it! I'm paying this man good money to make derisory comments of my origin of birth! It's okay though- I'm proud to be an Essex girl and I give him so much more stick than he could ever give me!</p> <p>My little boy is going to be cross with me when he gets back from school. He's going to be playing a sheep in the school Christmas play and I was meant to buy him a pair of black tights but I forgot! It does annoy me though that just expect you to go out and buy these things- it's not like I have a pair of black tights in his size lying around the house. He is the eldest child in the house and a boy after all! His sister has a pair but they are aged 3-4, much too small for him! Never mind I'll ahve to remember for tomorrow- I'll ask my friend to remind me. </p> <p>i had an encouraging start to my dissertation. I emailed my tutor the first chapter the other day and he has said it's good but needs a bit of work. i was worried I ahd done it wrong so it's good to hear that I'm on the right track. 2000 words down another 8000 to go!</p> <p>anyway I better go and sort my housework out. </p> <p>Take care and have a great day.</p> <p>tomorrow is Fat fighters so fingers crossed pleased that I have lost 1lb to reach my 2 1/2 stone. thank you</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/11/30/drivintg_lessons_still~349450/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/11/30/drivintg_lessons_still~349450/Wed, 30 Nov 2005 15:13:09 +0100 <p>I have just got back from the party and we had a great time. It was meant to be fancy dress- pirates and princess. Red went as a pirate and Lila was meant to be a princess in her chinese dress. They were so excited about going to the party that they got their outfits on as soon as they woke up! I warned them not to get them dirty and they did really well. Actually, Red did really well, Lila did well until just before we were about to leave and then got ketchup down it! She wasn't even menat to be eating ketchup- she had taken it out of the fridge while I had gone upstairs.<br> She really wanted to be dressed up and wouldn't go in her normal clothes. She didn't have any other princess dresses so i had to use one of Red's that I had bought him for Christmas. I got a bundle of 5 outfits- Lila gave him one for his birthday and I was keeping the others for Christmas.<br> So that was it Lila Bean had become a racing car driver princess with her costume a tiara and a pretty bead necklace she had made at the childminders ages ago! She did look very good in it though.<br> Ah well, at least she wasn't going to be the same as any one else! She does like to be different after all!</p> <p>The party was really good- my friend made a belle from beauty and the beast cake (made it all by herself- I just got Red a Power Rangers cake for his birthday last week from the supermarket) she also make a pinata for the children to open and had lots of pictures of princesses and pirates that she had drawn! She's so very artistic. </p> <p>Red won a few of the games- well he was the oldest there! He doesn't like losing though and tends to sulk. He had already won a few treats on pass the parcel (but not he main prize- Lila won it once though), musical statues and musical bumps and was was bit upset that he didn't win the dancing competition. He sulks so much when he loses. One day I was playing matching pairs with him on the living room floor and I was beating him (I won't let him win- that doesn't teach him anything) so he threw a tantrum and put all the cards away. Then we played snakes and ladders but Lila was winning and he landed on the same snake 5 times so he put that away too.<br> I don't know where he gets it from- I know I don't like to lose but I don't show my frustration at losing to anyone. Maybe I was like it when iw as little! I'll have to ask my mum.</p> <p>Oooh speaking of Mum I haven't phoned her today and she'll be ringin me in a bit to see if I'm okay!</p> <p>Take care.</p> <p>Love and sunshine,</p> <p>Laura x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/11/27/party_time~341892/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/11/27/party_time~341892/Sun, 27 Nov 2005 18:43:22 +0100 <p>My life is sooooo exciting. Weekends are just a blur for me. I can barely remember what I did over the weekends!</p> <p>Actually that's because it's so mind numbingly dull! Today I made the children tidy their things in living room to teach them about responsibilty (honest- I wasn't being lazy!) for their things and respect. Red was brilliant and did it without any moaning what so ever. Bless him he really is growing up now he's turned 6. The girl needed a kick up the bum to do it but they managed it in the end. They even had a fight over who got to take Lila Bean's unicorn upstairs- Red won. He was pleased with himself too.</p> <p>I tried to get some studying done- I read a little from a book on the Weimar Republic and was planning on doing some more ot the essay but then When harry met Sally was on tv and I haven't seen it in so long it would have been rude not to watch it. It's a classic after all! Although it does create the awkward question from the boyfriend about whether I have ever faked an orgasm with him <img src="/img/smilies/icon_lalala.gif" alt=":lalala:" class="middle" border="0"> I refuse to diginfy that question with an answer!</p> <p>I then watched Match of the day which in my house has had it's name changed to Day of the match as my fiance (yes I know I just called him my boyfriend a minute ago but we are engaged!) mistakenly called it that once and it seems to have stuck. </p> <p>I tease him about his English but my Albanian is awful- he laughs at my poor attempts to remeber words and my very English accent when pronouncing them! What I'd like to know is why these languages feel the need to have male and female words for everything! What about equal rights?! Surely women have the right to be treated the same as men and therefore it is unfair and unequal to have masculine and feminine words! or is that just my rotten ability to grasp the concept of another language? Actually I'll have you know languages (written in plural but I only learned french at school. I say learned but we had in class exams and I think one girl did the work and we all copied. Hey I came out with a B at GCSE grade) was my best subject at school- my French teacher (who was actually French herself) thought I had an ear for languages. Clearly she is wrong and will realise that when trying to listen to my half arsed attempts at Albanian. I have only just mastered the way of saying the letter dh which apperently is like our th as in the word 'they'. It is actually a lot harder to say than it sounds! As a result I can now count past nine! Result!</p> <p>Anyway I have a party tomorrow- see I do have something interesting to do. It is for my friends little girl who is very good friends with my two children and we will all be going to her birthday party. It's fancy dress- princesses, princes and pirates. Lila Bean will wear her chinese dress (which is slightly too big for her despite it being aged 3-5. She is 4 in a month!) and I have sticks to put in her hair too. Red is going as a pirate- Lila Bean bought him a pirate outfit for his birthday last week- wasn't that lucky!</p> <p>Have a great weekend too.</p> <p>Love and sunshine</p> <p>Laura x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/11/27/the_weekend~340501/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/11/27/the_weekend~340501/Sun, 27 Nov 2005 01:17:07 +0100 <p>I haven't been on here in so long. I guess I figured my life had got boring- driving and losing weight. Not really exciting. things haven't really changed though.</p> <p>I ahve now failed my driving test twice as I re took on the 9th November and someone walked out in front of me and the examiner put his foot on the brake a split second before I did and I failed <img src="/img/smilies/icon_cry.gif" alt=":'(" class="middle" border="0"> I only had 5 minors!</p> <p>Actually that isn't strictly true. It was completely my fault that I failed I accpet that now. They didn't excatly walk out in front of me. They were on a zebra crossing and I didn't see them. Totally my fault I know. </p> <p>My weight loss has started to slow down I ahve now lost 2 stone and 6 pounds. It's a bit frustrating but I'm going to start all over again this week and see where I can change- I know I need to do more exercise. I walk about 15 hours a week but I need to do something a bit more energetic. I'm going to try aerobics 3 times this week. </p> <p>My wedding plans have been put on hold as we have legal issues to deal with and I want to finish Uni first. There's no rush after all. </p> <p>Uni is going well. I have a lot of work to hand in before Christmas but I'm on track with it. I have already written one essay, my first chapter of my dissertation is almost complete and I have just started an essay on the Weimar Republic. After that all I have to do is an essay on crime and society in Early Modern England and then a 1000 words on the Berlin conference. Then it will all start again in February with the start of my last semester- it sounds soooo scary.</p> <p>Wow actually I have loads going on. And to top all that my children are sick today! they are driving me mad because they are off school and want to eat everything they are not allowed!!!!!!!!! </p> <p>Anyway I better get on with that essay sadly these things don't write themselves- would be good if they did.</p> <p>Take care.</p> <p>Love and sunshine.</p> <p>It's nice to be back! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/11/25/welcome_back_to_me~337110/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/11/25/welcome_back_to_me~337110/Fri, 25 Nov 2005 17:54:23 +0100 <p>Was in two minds whether or not to go to Slimming world last night as I haven't been well this past week.<br> I wanted to go because I am addicted to getting weighed and knowing how much weight I have lost but on the other hand I was worried that a gain might upset me.</p> <p>Anyway, I went and lost 2lb! That means I now have only 2lb to lose until I have lost 2 stone!</p> <p>I can't believe how much weight I have lost already. I only started in the last week of June.</p> <p>It fantastic and I'm so pleased I went last night as I feel wonderful today. </p> <p>I have been swimming this morning with my friend who really encouraged me to swim that little bit faster and I have already walked for 2 hours today and still have another 1 1/2 hours walking left to do to pick my children up.</p> <p>I love my new diet, it's fabulous and it makes me feel great.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/10/07/fat_fighters_fursdays~221635/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/10/07/fat_fighters_fursdays~221635/Fri, 07 Oct 2005 17:02:39 +0200 <p>Can't remember if I wrote that my driving test was on Sept 30th but it was and I failed.<br> I pulled out of a junction and had to stop because of something coming from the left and it meant an immediate fail.<br> <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"><br> I was really disappointed but have booked another for 10th November so hopefully I'll pass next time.<br> I was sure I was going to fail on my manouevers but the examiner said they were really good and said I did them brilliantly. He also said my driving was good but because the junction thing was serious it meant a fail.<br> I wasn't even nervous on the day and had had a really good lesson before hand too. Oh well, I know I'll never go across a junction like that again!<br> It was really disappointing though and I was so upset I cried.<br> Oh well fingers crossed for the 10th November now then! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/10/04/driving_test~216165/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/10/04/driving_test~216165/Tue, 04 Oct 2005 17:09:00 +0200 <p>This week is my first week back at uni. I'm really looking forward to all the work even though I know it will be my toughest year yet, well it is my final year.<br> I still haven't worked out a question for my dissertation even though I know the subject I am doing. One of my friends has written 2,000 words of his dissertation already!!!! He also wrote an essay over the summer for one of our modules but has since found out that the essay questions posted on studynet were actually wrong. He's none too pleased and I don't blame him.<br> I've just ordered a few books from the library to write an essay due in December, thought I'd make an early start too. This year is going to be my best year! I'm going to work damn hard to get really good grades so that I can do my teacher training next year.<br> Anyway I'm off to study... actually I'm not too well, I have a cold and what I really want to do is eat but I'm 4lb away from losing 2 stone and will not let myself be beaten just because of a pesky cold.<br> Seriously, off to study.<br> Take care.</p> <p>Love and sunshine,</p> <p>Laura x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/10/04/back_to_school~216138/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/10/04/back_to_school~216138/Tue, 04 Oct 2005 16:52:42 +0200 <p>Wow another 2lb off this week. I was very shocked to find I had lost weight this week as I had been ill over the weekend and hadn't paid too much attention to the diet. I tried to but I am a sucker for bread and ate quite a bit if it on Sunday. I tried really hard for the rest of the week though and I went swimming so it all paid off. I also do loads of walking every day as I don't drive (yet- test in one week- Argh).</p> <p>The 2lb meant that I passed my club 10 target and am 4lb away from two stone. Club 10 is losing 10%of your body weight. </p> <p>I want to lose between 3 1/2 and 4 stone by New Year so my fiance can buy me a really nice outfit. I've never let him buy me clothes before as I was too ashamed to tell him my size (although he knows now and even how much I weigh!!!! <img src="/img/smilies/graybigeek.gif" alt="88|" class="middle" border="0">)</p> <p>I can't believe how different I feel and how easy I find the diet (except when I'm ill of course) I don't miss any food- probably because I am allowed to eat so much I'm always full and don't care about anything else. The only thing I try not to eat is bread but that's because I love it a little bit too much.</p> <p>I'll probably lose a stone next week with all my worrying for my test on Friday.<br> My usual instructor has gone on holiday for 2 weeks so I've had lessons with a woman he works with. I say lessons at the moment I have only had one but I have another with her tonight and the last one on tuesday, I then get my instructor back on Thursday.</p> <p>she's really nice but I wish she wouldn't contradict everything I have been told and then contradict herself. I was doing a parallel park and I ahve always had problems with them until Andy and I realised my problem was I was looking out the back and not out the front at the angle I should be at. After I had finished (a little too wide of the pavement) she told me I shouldn't be looking out the back (ARGH!!!) and that I was too far away (I knew that already). She told me to do it a different way to what I had been taught and then said that manoevers don't have to be perfect. It doesn;t matter if yu come in too close or too wide it's the observations that matter (what?! Didin't she just tell me had done it wrong because I was too wide???????) </p> <p>That really confused me and I was already a little nervous about having a new instructor anyway. However, she was very nice chatty and friendly. And she gave me an excellent tip for reversing round the corner which stops me looking at the small mirror for too long. </p> <p>I will be glad to get this over with now. I'm as nervous as hell but if I fail then at least I know what to expect on my test and having a different instructor is helping me as I'll have a horrible mean old examiner with me on the day and not my lovely encouraging Andy.</p> <p>Fingers crossed everyone please.</p> <p>Love and sunshine,</p> <p>Laura x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/09/23/fat_fighters_fursdays~197186/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/09/23/fat_fighters_fursdays~197186/Fri, 23 Sep 2005 14:23:22 +0200 <p>All right so it's now Friday, but who cares!?!</p> <p>I was hoping for a loss of 2lb this week, in fact I wanted 4lb but I didn't think that was going to happen so I would have been happy with the 2lb. </p> <p>The 2lb loss would have got me to my next target of 1 and a half stone weight loss since june 26th, the 4lb loss would have allowed me to reach my club 10 target.</p> <p>You achieve club 10 by losing 10% of your body weight, for me that meant losing 1 stone 8 1/2lb.</p> <p>Well, this week, I lost 3 1/2lb!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!! So I reached my stone and a half target but just missed out on club 10. Not to worry though as it's only half a pound and will definately come off next week! </p> <p>This week I also became slimmer of the week for the second time in a month! </p> <p>I can't believe how much weight I am losing and how much I am eating. Slimming world has been the best decision I ever made. I would never have been able to lose all this weight on my own. And hopefully by Christmas (I know still a while off yet but the shops haven't been told that!) I'll have lost 3 stone in total and I can get my fiance to buy me some nice clothes as a Christmas present (I've never let him buy clothes for me before).</p> <p>On another note: my driving test is coming up in 14 days! 2 weeks to go and for those 2 weeks I'll have a different instructor as mine selfishly swans off on holiday (how dare he book a holiday, he should have known I would be booking my test and there he is thinking about himself! Honestly, the nerve of some people!)</p> <p>I wasn't too worried about my test before and was more worried about the new instructor but as the day gets nearer and nearer I'm begining to get a little worried.</p> <p>Any advice for nerves on the day?</p> <p>Take care,</p> <p>Love and sunshine,</p> <p>Laura x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/09/16/fat_fighters_fursdays~184928/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/09/16/fat_fighters_fursdays~184928/Fri, 16 Sep 2005 15:25:04 +0200 <p>Lunch box carrying has officially ended along with "let's get up early and ready for school!".</p> <p> It has now been replaced with "let's get up early and watch television until mum gets so stressed we think maybe we should get dressed!" </p> <p>Ahh it's great to be back to normal!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/the_end_of_the_school_week~170881/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/the_end_of_the_school_week~170881/Fri, 09 Sep 2005 11:49:00 +0200 <p>I can't believe that it was 6 weeks ago already when I sat down to complain about the school holidays and here I am today taking my children back for their first day of the new school year.</p> <p>My little boy went back into year one and he was so excited. He had a new pair of shoes and a new uniform (with the school's emblem on it- he moaned all the way through his first year because I didn't buy it last year) </p> <p>Bless him he looked so smart walking down the street with his new lunch box and P.E bag. (The novelty of carrying the lunch box wears off after a few days but today he was happy to walk to and from school with it) </p> <p>And then there was me... walking down to take him to school looking at him and thinking "I can't believe my little boy is in year 1 already!"</p> <p>My little girl too was going back to nursery with the prospect of a new teacher and lots of new friends to make. She was indifferent to going to nursery, she was neither excited nor unhappy about it. Maybe it's the newness of everything for school that gets them so excited about going back. After all my son got new shoes, new shirts, new jumpers, new bag and a new luch box. S|adly my lttle girl didn't - well she is getting new shoes in a couple of weeks but it's not quite the same especially as they will be for every day use not just for nursery. She does have soem clothes I keep especially for home (the ones I don't want wrecked with paint and goodness knows what else she manages to cover herself in) and so she too has special clothes for nursery but it's not the same as a uniform is it. </p> <p>Nevermind I got another reminder that my children are growing up fast through the post today- schools admissions for next year!</p> <p>My little girl will be starting school this time next year and what about me? I'll have the day to myself (apart from the time I'll be doing my teacher training- depending, of course, on whether I pass my degree next year)<br> Awhole day without either of them is a scary prospect for me, I think I'll have to have another child to take up my time. Twins, just to keep me really busy and on my toes. A boy and a girl... names... hmmm Eoin and Isabella. Or maybe Ethan and Eleanor. Or perhaps Noah and Jessica (nah I'm not allowed Noah <img src="/img/smilies/grayno.gif" alt=":no:" class="middle" border="0"> their father doesn't like it)<br> okay what about Seth and Mackenzie! </p> <p>Then again... another child? Two? <img src="/img/smilies/graybigeek.gif" alt="88|" class="middle" border="0"> Not right now. I am very broody at the moment and do want another child in the future but for now I want to concentrate on providing for the family I have before I think about adding to it. </p> <p>My university is very important to me and I want to do well so I can become a teacher and earn a decent living so I can buy a house, a car and have a holiday once a year (okay so our holidays will be really cheap considering my parents live next to the seaside and my soon to be father in law lives in a warm country near to the beach- result!<img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0">)</p> <p>Anyway, apparently my little boy hasn't had a thing to eat all day (even though I rememer watching him eat breakfast this morning and I sent him off with nice food all wrapped up in a nice box for him to carry and I'm pretty sure it was him that ate that food too) but what do I know!? I'm just his mother. He needs refuelling!</p> <p>Then again, quiet is so much better!</p> <p>Nah, I wouldn't change my children for the world!</p> <p>Love and sunshine,</p> <p>Laura x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/09/05/school_days~163812/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/09/05/school_days~163812/Mon, 05 Sep 2005 17:03:31 +0200 <p>Yep it's that time yet again for me to get weighed and hope that all my good eating habits this week have been in my favour and I have yet lost more pounds.</p> <p>Well... I deliberately didn't write anything about my weight last week as I gained 1/2lb and I was a little sensitive about it. I had been good that week but it was that time of the month when we women tend to naturally gain a pound or two. It was only a 1/2lb gain but I was very upset by it and it made me more sensitive about going this week.</p> <p>Tonight I lost (drum role please) 2 and a half pounds. I know that is good but for some reason I was quite disappointed with it. I spoke to my conslutant who reassured me that it was very good and I had nothing to worry about. i showed her my food diary for the last week and had no criticisms other than I don't eat enough leafy vegetables. </p> <p>I think my main reason for feeling down was because I had gained last week, and however small, a gain is the worng direction I want to be going in. </p> <p>I'm still not really happy with my 2 1/2lb but I'm not sure what I was expecting. In all honesty I have been complaining all week feeling like I would gain tonight. </p> <p>but a funny thing happened on the way home. this week I had to take my children with me as my fiance was away for the evening seeing his brother. After we left the meeting we played 'tag' on the way home, as I was running after my little boy who had just tagged me a thought hit me. I was running! I hadn't run in years but here I was running up the road after my 5 year old who was squealing with delight and laughing like mad. It was a great feeling, I wasn't feeling out of breath or anything, it felt good. I was playing woth my children in a way that I have never done before. That makes my depression about a loss of 2 1/2lb silly. I was, am, losing weight and they are the beneficiaries as I can do things with them I have never been able to before. I know I still have lots of weight to lose before I reach my target but to know that even after losing 1 stone and 4 pounds I have lots more energy is great and watching my children laugh as we play makes it all worth while. </p> <p>Sod it, 2 1/2lb loss is excellent and I feel wonderful. Well done me. I'll get to my target just you see if I don't! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/09/01/fat_fighters_fursdays~156981/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/09/01/fat_fighters_fursdays~156981/Thu, 01 Sep 2005 23:31:35 +0200 <p>I think my children (ages 5 and 3) must be the only children to go into a toy shop find a keyboard and microphone to play with and proceded to belt out a song. Now I know what you're thinking... nothing strange about that all children do it... but there is a twist with their choice of song...</p> <p>Ruby Soho by Rancid</p> <p>Now you tell me of any other 5 and 3 year olds who know the words to a punk song! </p> <p>They also know the words to Roots Radicals and Monkey Man by The Specials!</p> <p>At least their music tastes cannot be contrived as boring or unimaginative!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/09/01/children_do_the_darndest_things~155037/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/09/01/children_do_the_darndest_things~155037/Thu, 01 Sep 2005 00:19:06 +0200 <p>I had the best driving lesson yesterday. I didn't stall once!!!! Normally I always stall at least once in my hour and a half lessons.<br> I also did a perfect parallel park (it was good I amazed even myself) and my progress was better than it usually was but still not perfect, I come off roundabouts too slowly! I'm not really nervous about my test, not yet anyway but then I have 4 weeks to get my driving up to scratch. I'm more nervous about having a different instructor for 2 weeks while my instructor is away on holiday (he comes back the day before my test). I think my driving is good, Andy is always saying it is but I am worried about the reverse around the corner. I don't like the manoeuvers, I get a little flustered with them. Anyway like I said I ahve 4 weeks to get it right and if I don't pass my test first time so what! I'm not going to worry about it and whatever happens, happens. Anyway I'm more worried about my dissertation at the moment. I am doing the reading for it and really enjoying it but I'm beginning to form a dislike for Marie Stopes! She seems a very arrogant and petulant. I don't agree with some of her ideas but I cannot fault her drive to do accomplish what would have seemed like the impossible at the time.<br> nevermind, I'm sure my dislike will not hinder my essay, only enhance it!</p> <p>Anyway I'm off to go and read up some more and instensify my dislike.</p> <p>Bye for now,</p> <p>Love and sunshine,</p> <p>Laura x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/08/31/my_driving_lessons~153397/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/08/31/my_driving_lessons~153397/Wed, 31 Aug 2005 12:00:00 +0200 <p>I am currently waiting for dinner to cook so I thought I would take a few minutes to write about my impending driving test and my lessons to get me ready for it. </p> <p>My test is on 30th September and I have been taking lessons since February.</p> <p>I'm terrified! I had a lesson yesterday which my instructor said went very well, despite the fact that I went left at a roundabout when he had told me to go straight on and my liking of moving over from a right hand lane to a middle rather than the left!</p> <p>I actually love driving and some of my driving is really very good, my reversing is good and so is my handling of roundabouts but I lack the ooomph to get off at a good pace. In short, I don't use enough gas and needless to say I stall a lot! I'm a little timid with changing lanes with heavy traffic too, it seems so close to me but I'm assured it is a safe distance away. </p> <p>I'm my driving instructor's favourite pupil at the moment as he says I have the want (I was going to say drive ha ha) to do well. I get so frustrated when I do things wrong when I know what I should have done. </p> <p>I really do want to succeed and to pass my test but I am worried I won't with my sometimes awful driving. However, I do have another month to get rid of the stupid in my driving and become a great driver. So you all better watch out ha ha because I could be unleashed on the roads very soon (don't worry too much I will be taking my pass plus too!)</p> <p>Anyway I better see to dinner and I will leave you with a joke my instructor told me (apprently we are the only ones that find it funny):</p> <p>Two monkeys sitting in a bath, one say "oooh ooooh ooooh" the other says "put some cold in it then!"<img src="/img/smilies/icon_lol.gif" alt=":DD" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Ha ha ha ha ha I think that's so funny!!!!!!! My fiance wasn't too impressed with it but I blame language barriers not my bad joke telling! (sssh don't tell them he speaks great english<img src="/img/smilies/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" class="middle" border="0">)</p> <p>Love and sunshine,</p> <p>Laura x <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wave.gif" alt=":wave:" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/08/24/driving~140238/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/08/24/driving~140238/Wed, 24 Aug 2005 19:49:55 +0200 <p>Tonight was Slimming World night and I was a little worried that I hadn't lost any weight because I had pizza on Friday and went out to dinner on Saturday but I made sure I went straight back on the diet on Sunday. To compensate for my 2 naughty days I made sure I kept my syns low too. I don't normally eat the allotted 10-15 syns anyway but I really made sure I only ate free foods and the healthy extras. Thankfully my hard work and commitment to losing weight has paid off as I lost 3lb this week taking me over my stone! I have now lost 1 stone 2 pounds in 8 weeks. I am so happy with that. I also won slimmer of the week this week which I've never won before. I am so proud of myself that I can do it. I still have a lot to lose but it so encouraging to see every week that I am losing weight and I feel so much better about myself already.</p> <p>Yeah to me! Slimmer of the week! </p> <p>I'm off to celebrate with a big cream cake (Ha ha not really, a yoghurt and some watermelon more like!)</p> <p>Love and sunshine,</p> <p>Laura x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/08/18/fat_fighters_fursdays/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/08/18/fat_fighters_fursdays/Thu, 18 Aug 2005 22:10:39 +0200 <p>I'm getting increasingly worried about my impending dissertation. I know the subject with which I am studying hut do not, as yet, have a specific question. This I feel is hindering my reading of the secondary sources as I am not sure which parts are relevant. I also think I need to step up my level of study. I have been very lax in the past few months which is terrible. The thought of writing my dissertation is really scary. The most words I have written for an essay before was 5,000 but this seems so much scarier and has more bearing on my future. I am really enjoying reading up on my chosen subject but I still worry that I will fail. I'm worried I won't get the time to devote to the project the time that I need and it will be done half as good as it could have been. I've made a vow this year to really study hard. I have asked my fiance to support me. He has been great the past year and when I was studying hard he would cook dinner for us all, tidy the house and wash up. The only thing he didn't do was take the kids to bed or put them in the bath because I don't to miss time with them. I always make sure I have time for them. Which is another worry of the impending year to come. Will I have the time to study and still have time for my children. I have to be there for them and don't want to feel that I am pushing them away for the sake of my studying. I know they realise the importance of my study as anytime that I am on the computer they assume it is for studying (just now my little boy has seen me on the computer and said to me "It's okay mum I'll get myself a drink so I can let you study").<br> My family are so important to me that I do not want them to feel that I am leaving them out. Thankfully the football season has started so that my fiance has something to do while I'll be spending all those nights studying (He loves watching football and will watch anything (he is a Liverpool supporter after all!) going whereas I will only watch my team- Arsenal, England or a cup game).<br> Anyway I better go and do some studying while I still ahve a bit of time to do it in- I have a driving lesson later and it's fat fighters tonight! I really hope I have lost that pound to get my stone sticker, I feel like I have. Finger's crossed everyone please. Thank you!<br> Love and sunshine,</p> <p>Laura x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/08/18/dissertation/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/08/18/dissertation/Thu, 18 Aug 2005 15:27:23 +0200 <p>Actually I'm writing this very early Monday but that's not important right now.</p> <p>My two beautiful children are safely tucked up asleep in their beds where they belong. I've missed them so much and it seems like I haven't seen them in ages. Lila even sounds more grown up! </p> <p>It's only been four days! </p> <p>They are home and I am so happy to have them back. </p> <p>No doubt I'll be back to moaning about them tomorrow but for now I'm going to go and watch them sleep for a bit and just be glad to see them.</p> <p>Aww it really is a good day.</p> <p>Oh and by the way, just in case you were wondering... our anniversary night out yesterday was wonderful. We went to the cinema to see Crash which was excellent (I throughly recommend it) and then we had dinner (I was a little naughty with dinner what with my diet and everything as we shared an ice cream but I was straight back on it today!) </p> <p>All in all we watched a great film, had a lovely meal and spent the evening in fantastic company. He really is my best friend and truly my other half (sickening to hear I know but none the less still true).<br> I can't wait to be his wife. He is the most caring (I always cry at films where children get hurt- he's never let me live down the time I cried at an episode of ER where two little girls were killed because their mother was mad- and he knew I was going to cry during crash when a gun is fired at a little girl who is trying to protect her daddy so he covered my eyes and gave me a big cuddle as I wept), loving (he'd do anything for me as I would for him), funny (he really does make me laugh a lot) and the most amazing man I've ever met (he's the only other person, apart from myself, I've ever met who prefers salted popcorn to the sweet stuff). You see he was made for me and I am so happy we met.</p> <p>Anyway I'm sure I've made you all feel quesy now so I'm sorry and I am going to bed now I promise.</p> <p>Take care,<br> Love and sunshine,</p> <p>Laura x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/08/15/woo_hoo_it_s_sunday/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/08/15/woo_hoo_it_s_sunday/Mon, 15 Aug 2005 02:25:58 +0200 <p>I got what I though was a really nasty reply to one of my earlier blogs and it upset me so much that I thought I'd rant about it for a little bit.<br> I'm talking about the comment I got from Slot regarding my blog "have a nice time". His comments really made me angry.</p> <p> <em>"Whose idea was it to have kids? If he never wanted children then can u blame him for wanting his own life back? Nice one for sticking with the agreement to stay quiet over the escaped child thing eh? Posting it on the net."</em></p> <p>I'd like to take the time to argue with his assumptions on my life. Firstly, why does he assume that it was my idea? Is it because I am the woman therefore it must have been my idea as after all it is my body and all that. I must have either duped him into having children or coerced him into it. Has it ever occured to him that maybe we made the decision together and in making that decision we are both equally responsible for their upbringing (fair's fair I never have to press him for his monthly money no matter how small it is, he always pays me without fail).<br> Secondly, where does it state anywhere in any of my blogs that I resent him having a life? I was the one that ended our marriage and his wanting to join the Navy was something that he had wanted to do since he was young. I never tried to persuade him not to go or threatened his relationship with his children in his wanting to join up. On the contrary, I was pleased for him as it meant a career and one that he had wanted for so long. However, he did want to have our children and he was NOT forced into anything. What kind of person (or mother)would I be to bring a child into this world knowing that I had forced parenthood on the father?!<br> I do not resent him doing well in his life I resent that he can't find time in his new life for his children. I am currently trying to get my life together and have been studying for the past 3 years at college and now uni to gain a degree so that I can provide a better life for my children by doing what I have always wanted- teach. I am doing something I've wanted to do for a long time and so is he so why should I resent that?<br> Thirdly, at what point did I say I would keep it a secret. He only asked me not to tell people out of fear of what he would be betrayed like from members of our families- he wasn't interested in our son's welfare or the risk that he had put him under. Why should I keep quiet about something as awful as that? It was his stupidity and lack of forethought that led to the incident, I'm sure he wouldn't have kept quiet about it if it was me so why should I? He has told so many lies to everyone about me and our lives that I don't see why I have to make allowances for him when all he does is try to portray me as a bad parent and a bad wife. I am fed up with his attitude toward me (he's nasty to me even now and hates the fact that I am studying so that I can better myself and constantly tells me I'll never achieve anything. Does that sound like a decent and honourable man to you? No... so why should I treat him kindly when he does not show the same compassion for me. He has no respect for anyone including his own mother whom he constantly swears at and tries to belittle even when she is trying to help him. He needs to sort himself out and think about the way he treats people before he can expect to get any kind of respect from anyone else.<br> So, frankly, it seems to me that Slot made assumptions about me and my life that simply weren't true and accused me of being the person to blame. Is it because I am a woman? Are all us women just after babies and will do anything to get one? Is that what you think? I will tell you something, I did want my children very much, they mean the world to me and I would die before I let anything happen to them but don't forget that he was an active part of their conception aswell. He was not forced or duped into having them. Next time if you have something to say about my life make sure that what you are saying is based on fact and hard evidence as assumptions (in this case) are wrong. </p> <p>Anyway I have got that off my chest and I feel so much better.</p> <p>It's my anniversary tomorrow so we are out somewhere special for the day and the children come home Sunday ( I can't wait I have missed them so much. I was playing with Lila's dolls earlier because I miss them and being able to play with them and give them lots of kisses and cuddles.<br> I had a little cry too but I'm better now.<br> I'm off now. Bye for now.</p> <p>Love and sunshine,</p> <p>Laura x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/08/13/my_life_17/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/08/13/my_life_17/Sat, 13 Aug 2005 01:19:44 +0200 <p>I miss the kids like crazy. they have only been gone a day but I want to cry so much because they are not here. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_cry.gif" alt=":'(" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Thursday nights for me as you know are Slimming world nights. Last week I was a pound away from losing a stone and this week... I have stayed the same <img src="/img/smilies/graysigh.gif" alt=":**:" class="middle" border="0"> How depressing. I so wanted to get that stone sticker and now it looks like I'll ahve to wait another week. I have been told not to weigh on jeans though! It's my beginners error, apparently they weigh 2lb a pair! That can't be my excuse though as I always weigh in jeans! I think it's my distinct lack of exercise since the kids finished school for the summer. Before I was walking 2 hours a day and swimming an hour a day and now I'm doing nothing. I must get back to something. My fiance was making me do aerobics for a week but he feels bad making me do it and stopped pushing me. Trouble is I needed that push as without I'm doing nothing. Thankfully it's not the diet going wrong though. I actually really enjoy it. Nevermind, not to be too downhearted I didn't put anything on after all!<br> Better luck next week. hopefully I'll have that stone sticker and a new hair style (I promised myself a new cut and highlights when I lose a stone!)<br> Anyway, Have a good night,<br> Love and sunshine,<br> Laura x</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/08/11/disappointing_evening/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lauraxhaferraj.blog.co.uk/2005/08/11/disappointing_evening/Thu, 11 Aug 2005 21:03:44 +0200